


Dr. Bubby, I need clones.

by Lucky (scrapmetal)



Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapmetal/pseuds/Lucky
Summary: Written by about 6 people while watching the "Mario Party 3, but the AI Punishes You ft. Wayneradiotv, Baaulp & Holly!" stream.
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Dr. Bubby, I need clones.

Benrey. Benis 

Dr. Coomer wasn’t always a doctor. But he was always known as Dr. Coomer. Well Known boxer Dr. Coomer had swept the scene 20 years ago, shouting his iconic tagline TITS BIG ONES. Chat went WILD whenever Coomer said his line, and by chat I mean the audience. The audience pogged so hard.

^ Like that. Everyone in the audience did that at the same time, terrifying millions of watchers around the country. This is what inspired Dr. Coomer’s clones, but that is a story for another day. (Or is it…)

.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.oOo.

“Doctor Bubby, I need clones.”

Bubby was a Black Mesa native, born and raised. He did not wish for more beings to be created in the wild facilities of Black Mesa, but he trusted his beloved Coomer. Maybe more Coomers would help liven the place. 

“Okay, if you say so.”

Production went into effect the next day. Dr. Coomer fueled the test tubes with his most impressive power. Bubby watched the fetuses float around in their tubes, remembering his own time in one. The clones would grow fast, soon becoming fully grown and aged to perfection, like a fine wine.

When Bubby turned around, he saw Coomer’s face drain of blood. 

“My… powers…”

Bubby quickly went up to Coomer to support him as he fell. “Dr. Coomer! Are you okay?”

“Yes… this is good. This is the only way I’ll improve my boxing properly.” He steadied himself, leaning on Bubby, “You see, Doctor, with every new clone I can test a new wrestling move. I’ll feel each and every brutal punch I throw at them just the same! Surely that’s the only way I can truly become a great boxer.”

Bubby gave Coomer a look. Not that he didn’t believe the man, but he didn’t believe the man.

In just a few days, Coomer’s clones were ready. The gestation period was incredibly short, but they arrived into the world fully formed and fully ready to take on their predecessor. The wonders of modern medicine. 

“Hello, clones!” Coomer greeted his clones cheerfully. 

“Hello, Dr. Coomer!” All one hundred clones responded simultaneously, creating a deafening roar in the large science lab. Coomer began to regret his decisions.

“Dr. Bubby… what if they become too powerful. Although they only have a fraction of my power, that’s quite enough I’d say!”

Bubby turned towards Coomer, fear clouding his eyes as he remembered… the prototypes. “This cannot go well.”

The clones begin to scatter around the facility like the rats in the animated family movie Ratatouille (2007). They started taking on honest jobs, becoming brilliant scientists in their own right as they spread, but this was not a good thing. As they became more independent, they took more and more of Coomer’s power. 

One of the clones left Black Mesa and became a farmer with a wife and 2.5 children. No one knows what happened to the other half of that child. Regardless It was beautiful, but it was wrong. It was all so wrong.

Another stars in a popular homoerotic soap opera that premieres every weeknight at 9:30 PM on TLC. It would have been entertaining, if both of the love interests weren’t Coomer Clones. Just kidding, that was just a review of the show on Yelp. It’s actually very entertaining as it’s the final form of self love :)

The original Dr. Coomer, Coomer Prime, was playing solitaire depressingly. What had he done? How was the world going to recover from 300 Coomers? They were too smart, too confident, too powerful, too… sexy. 

“HRRAUUUGUUHGHAAAAAAA”

All 3000 clones screamed at the same time. Despite how independent they had become, they were still not considered sentient individuals by the law. So that meant they were not sentient individuals. That's how laws work. The United States of America Government makes all the physical laws of the universe.

It was time for Coomer to defeat what he had created (even though Bubby was the one who created the clones). The arm sleeves burst off his lab coat as his arms bulged to proportions only even seen in **_Super Punch-Out!!_** developed and published by Nintendo for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. **_Super Punch-Out!!_**[ [a]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Punch-Out!!#cite_note-2) is a [boxing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing) video game developed and published by [Nintendo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo) for the [Super Nintendo Entertainment System](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Nintendo_Entertainment_System) (SNES). It was released on September 14, 1994 in [North America](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_America) and again in the same region in 1996. It was released in Europe on January 26, 1995 for the same console and in Japan in 1998 for the [Nintendo Power](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo_Power_\(cartridge\)) [flash RAM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_RAM) cartridge series and the [Super Famicom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Famicom). The game is also included in the [GameCube](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GameCube) version of [Fight Night Round 2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight_Night_Round_2) as an extra game due to the inclusion of Little Mac in the game. The game was released for the [Wii](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wii)'s [Virtual Console](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_Console) in Europe on March 20, 2009, in North America on March 30, 2009, and in Japan on July 7, 2009. The game was also released on the New Nintendo 3DS eShop on May 5, 2016. [Nintendo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo) re-released _Super Punch-Out!!_ in the [United States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States) in September 2017 as part of the company's [Super NES Classic Edition](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_NES_Classic_Edition).[[2]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Punch-Out!!#cite_note-3) It is the fourth game in the [_Punch-Out!!_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch-Out!!) series, taking place after the [_Punch-Out!!_](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch-Out!!_\(NES\)) game for the [NES](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NES).

Coomer punched his own genetic material in the face. It was painful, but it was necessary. The clones needed to be defeated, even if the very code that made up Coomer had to be defeated as well. Coomer screamed along with his 300000 clones, and as they died, his power returned to him. Even though he had no genetic material, he rebuilt himself from the dead coomer clones. He looked like an entirely different person now with his cut jawline and toned abs, his face so different (and oddly handsome) to what it was before, which meant that his boxing career was over. 

Bubby entered the room, the corpses of Coomer Clones scattered around the room. He stared in shock at the bloodied man. Coomer turned to look at Bubby's shocked face and smiled as he stood up straight and towering.

“Doctor Bubby, I’m full!”

_ The End _

Sincerely, the “hlvrai brainrot babey!” discord server, and  _ me _ .

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Holly for reading this fic live on stream! Absolutely destroyed all six of us.


End file.
